What did YOU have for dinner 6 years ago???

We were at Applebee's.  I had the honey barbecue chicken with mashed potatoes. We had some kind of dessert, probably a chocolate cake or brownie with ice cream with chocolate drizzled all over.  Yum oh yum, It was an excellent meal, my favorite Applebee's dish at the time.  I had leftovers though, because I was a wee bit distracted.  I also had doctor's orders to eat a "light meal."  We were also running a wee bit behind to our 7pm check in at the hospital.  It was time to be induced!!

Earlier that day, I had lunch with some friends. They brought Goodcents over, yum!  At our mid afternoon doctor's appointment, Dr. Snider came in and said, "Well, I'll see you back at 7 tonight, we are going to induce."  I freaked out!  I had been on bed rest for high blood pressure for 2 weeks, it was only 2 weeks from my due date, and this shouldn't have come as such a shock to me!  We quickly sprung into action, making phone calls and last minute preparations.  Eric went back to work to wrap stuff up, and I went home to have a freak out panic attack because this was REALLY happening RIGHT NOW pack and let our friends and family know it was go time.  Yes, 2 weeks out and I hadn't even packed!  I even made an appointment for a massage. I wanted her to work on the pressure points for labor. I foolishly thought this was help move things along more quickly. 

It was a long night, with nurses coming in to bug me, check vitals on me and little man, and all sorts of things hooked up to me.  This was my first hospital experience, and I was slightly overwhelmed!  And a long night led to a much longer day....

Acceptance Speech

Recently I described the prize that I have WON!  WOO HOO for me, it was a tonsillectomy!  Well, with any great prize, there should be an acceptance speech.  So, here is it.

I just first want to thank my family for their support in the last couple of week.  My husband has been working weekends and late nights thanks to the recent hail storm, and on top of that, he is having to do more at home.  My mother was so lucky to get to take care of me the 1st couple days after surgery when I was my whiniest and most demanding.  BUT WAIT, there's more!  She also had the pleasure of taking care of Jenna, who had the stomach flu.  She did lots of running for me also, to Sonic for ice and slushes and to Price Chopper for sherbet, pudding and jello.  Then my mother in law got to take a turn and has been my care taker during the week.  She has had the opportunity to get the kids ready for school and daycare, take the kids, along with the neighbor girl to school, cook and clean all our meals, do some after school pick up and has managed to get my house clean too. We even found some counter tops that Eric and I thought were permanently covered in paper!  So, a giant thank you to them for taking all this good care of me and the kids.  And thank you to Dad and Larry for giving them to us so willingly during my time of no lifting and driving. 
My sweet grandparents have come to visit and brought beautiful flowers.  Kudos to my wonderful boss Suzy and my co-workers at the bank.  They all completely understood the importance of this surgery for Jenna's sake and have been uber supportive of this time off of work.  AND they also sent beautiful flowers.  The Lafferty's made me a GIANT tub of homemade vanilla ice cream, YUM!  My fiend Karen was our life saver a couple Saturdays ago by coming to get Cale and entertain him ALL day while Mommy and Jenna were feeling yucky.  My lovely neighbors took charge over me at our neighborhood party by taking great care of my kids while I just chilled out.  Countless friends have checked on me and prayed for us during this time too. 
Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you for your help and support. I am nearly back to normal and have my 2 week check up appointment tomorrow afternoon.  I even will get to drive again!!  I will tell you, it hasn't been fun, but I wouldn't say it is the worst experience ever either.  It definitely gets you down though.  It is a weird thing, but there are waves of light-headedness that just came over me and frequently!  Hmmm, maybe that's one of  the reasons they say don't drive! 
What are my next big plans you wonder  (or maybe not!)  ??  After my appointment on Friday, I plan on picking Jenna up and carrying her around for the rest of the day!  And soon very soon, I hope to eat a wonderful meal at a Mexican restaurant, complete with crunchy chips and spicy salsa!

It's Been a Year...Part 2

I really didn't mean to leave you all hanging last night, as if you don't know the story, but if you noticed the posting time.....well it was 2 hours off, so it was 1:05 when I posted that bad boy and Mama was tired.  I was also emotionally drained.  Anywho, here's where left off....

The scene in the waiting room lightened from the sad, heart breaking scene that was just a floor above.  Somehow, in the cozy waiting room atmosphere, you can go light years from where you really are.  You can snap back into reality in a flash too.  One moment, you are laughing with friends and family, the next moment you hear "Jenna's family" and you are harshly reminded why all these loving people are here providing a distraction with their company.  The kind folks in the operating room called and updated us every hour and half or so.  The updates went something like this:

She went to sleep quickly and Dr. Singhal has just started the surgery.

She is doing great. Everything is on track in here.

She is still doing great. Dr. Singhal is about to finish up.

She did great. He is closing her up now.  He'll be down to see you soon.

Dr. Singhal's report when he came to see us was more of the same.  She did great. We had no problems.  All is repaired, and it went perfectly.  I asked questions, similar to my worries, her eyes are okay?  Her brain is okay?  Her forehead is okay?  YES, YES, YES, it went great, just as expected, just like they planned.  Just like they had done thousands of times on thousands of babies.  But this one was the first time on MY baby, so I wanted to make certain!  We still had longer to wait while she was in recovery.  And then we were reunited.  But first, some fun photos while we were light years away somehow....



This might be my favorite.  I have no story for it besides these guys are hilarious, make us laugh and I love them a lot!



Uncle Eli (apparently SHOCKED at my camera), Aunt Hallie and Great Grandma Mary



War!  He won these rounds, but I could really whoop up on him when he was younger!

There were others with us that day.  Grace Baptist Church had been praying for this girl and this day, and many came to support us with their presence that day.  Of course, our families were there. Also, Rebble, my new cranio mama friend, blessed us by bringing her cranio baby.  Lily Jane, not a baby anymore, stood as a beautiful picture of proof that my Jenna would get through this day and blossom.

After the waiting, there was more waiting, in reunion avenue, and then....

This is the first time we got to see our punkin. Man, she sure was swollen and pale.  You can see her ever faithful best friend Dolly up by her head.  She used Dolly over the next few days to hide from the world. 

After we met Jenna in the hallway from recovery to the PICU (pediatric ICU), we had more waiting.  It was more agonizing, because we had seen her and I just wanted to be with her.  It was over, and this Mama was DONE waiting. 

When we finally got to the room with her, there was one of us with her at all times.  We stayed with her and every little whimper roused us to go check on her all through the night.  I learned a lot that night.  I learned, more than ever, that your kids are like your heart running around outside your body.  It hurt so much to see her like that. No, I don't think she was in pain.  She made some wincing faces now and again, but she slept peacefully most of the night and into the late morning.  We kept up on her pain meds and monitored her every sound, move and possible need. She wasn't in pain, but we were.  My heart ached for her and her puffy little body.  I also learned that while this was painfully agonizing and scary and no fun, our adventure would come to an end soon, and I would take my healthy child home in a few days.  And for at least the immediate future, we would be fine.  There are other families with deep hurts too, up at that hospital right now, sitting in their PICU rooms, holding their breath while doctors work away.  And a lot of them are not quick fixes. They have this pain all the time.  Our was like a sprint, it was a short run, then we were back to normal.  Other families, they are on marathons, and there are some drink breaks along the way, but really they must run a lot more than we had too.  I prayed for them then, I pray for them now, and I hope you will pray for them too. 



Sweet Angel Baby

The next few days were a whirlwind of emotions.  Sometime I will post on my blog my email updates that I sent out that week.  I hope that someone will read this blog and get hope for their cranio baby.  That week was long, I only left once for a hot, non-hospital lunch (and yes, we chose Chipotle).  We had visitors, people checking on through facebook, email and phones and some lovely flowers.  Nurses and doctors came in several times throughout the day, sometimes with updates, or to answer our questions, but mostly always to make sure Jenna was doing perfectly.  But don't think there wasn't any fun. Jenna, for the most part, felt pretty good after that first day.  There was a play room she got to go to. She made us all NERVOUS, but she had a good time.  Also, Cale came to see her, which totally made the girl's day.  Here they are playing cars, IV pole and all!

We got to come home on Saturday, following her Tuesday surgery.  Home was good.  The first thing Jenna did was drink a bottle, something she had refused to do in the hospital.  She actually bought us an extra day with her crazy non-drinking antics!  Here is a picture of her at home that first night, all smiles of course!

 Our sweet girl is great now. One year later, there is barely proof under her beautiful dark wavy hair of a scar line.  Her forehead is perfectly perfect.  She is developing very much on target and is full of SASS!!!  She adores her brother, and likewise, he loves her to the moon and back plus infinity.  We are blessed beyond measure by these 2 sweet babies, the extensions of our hearts.

It's Been a Year...Part 1

It was one year ago today that we brought our little Miss Jenna home from the hospital, for the 2nd time.  April 10, 2010 we were released from Children's Mercy following her Frontal Orbital Advancement on April 6.  Read with me as I reminisce the events that lead up to April 6, that week and now.   HAHAHAHA, those of you that know me well just SIGHED a giant SIGH, so afraid that I will go on and on and on and on....and I might.  You can read this in 2 settings if you need to! 

 I just finished for the night and decided to give you fair warning.  

I didn't get to the end, so you will have to read it in 2 settings....or 3 or 4....

Jenna was born with Metopic Craniosynostosis, which is a fancy word for her plates in her head were fused together and they weren't supposed to be.  We had to get it fixed. Now, if you remember, my baby was a still a complete and utter beauty, even if she had a ridge down her forehead which daddy and I affectionately called her beak.  But that's another story.... 


See, absolutely BEAUTIFUL!! 

 From the start, the very early start, we thought maybe something was not quite right with that little forehead of hers. Within days, the nurses and doctors, bless you Yvonne for prepping us, started talking about craniosynostosis.  Well good grief, between dealing with a 6 week early punkin and all the drugs from the C-section and the whirlwind we call life, this new giant word sounded terrible and I just hoped and prayed they were wrong and she'd grow out of it. Well, Dr. McGinnis gave her just 3 short weeks to "grow out of it" before he referred us to Dr. Virender Singhal, plastic surgeon at Children's Mercy (let's just call it CMH for short, shall we?).   When I called their office, they were able to get us in July 24th, because of our "willingness" to go to the clinic at CM South.

We meet with these blessed souls when Jenna was just day shy of 2 months old. What we found was a very confident and skilled set of doctors, nurses, and staff.  These people do this all the time, this is their normal and they did all they could to make all this whole process as normal and non scary as possible.  At this appointment, we learned all about Jenna's birth defect, how they would fix it and her recovery.  We also learned they didn't want to do her surgery until she was EIGHT TO NINE MONTHS OLD!!!  And that is 8-9 months old from her due date, so 9-10 months old in real counting.  AND we were to call in JANUARY to schedule the surgery.  The wait, it was long. It was hard and painful and scary and odd all at the same time.  I had just waited 7.5 months for something big, now I had to wait another 7 months for another something big. It felt like an eternity, an ever looming date of "early spring" just tempting us with worry and fear.  Yes, I was praying.  And I was talking to others and learning all I could.  I made a new friend whose own baby had gone through this. I got to meet the miracle of Lilly Jane and (BARELY) see her 3 year old scar, the same one my sweet pea has now.  But I didn't receive peace until April 2.  The deacons in our church prayed over my Jenna, our Jenna.  They prayed for healing and God's infinite power and wisdom and I cried and cried and then when the vocal praying stopped, I still cried.  A special brother in Christ prayed with me a few moments later after I shared my ultimate fear, and then it was there....Peace. Peace that passes understanding, I had it like a wave in the ocean, just overwhelming and overtaking.  Remember, I didn't say God didn't give it til then, I said I didn't take it until then....

What were my worries, you wonder?  Or maybe you don't. Maybe you know.  Or thought you knew. My fears, as any parent's would be, were of anesthesia gone bad, freak accidents, those possibilities that are rare, uncommon but yet possible. Would her optic nerves be damaged?  Would her brain get bumped even though they assured us they were FAR from the brain?  (And really how far could one really be from the brain if you are changing the shape of a forehead?)  What if something goes wrong that I haven't even thought of??  And my worst fear, the one I couldn't speak but feared more than all of the above and prayed on fervently, my worst fear was that we would not get her back from that surgery.  I was so terrified to lose my baby.  For me, that surgery date, the unknown for so long, then that date of April 6, April 6, April 6...it was when my world would stop.  For my calendar, there was no April 7 or 8 or 9. I was so afraid of April 6 I couldn't see past it. 

So, April 6th came (and in case you didn't know, the 7th did too, praise the Lord:)  I won't say it was easy since I had his new found peace.  The peace made me a sane person (debatable by some, I know).  We got to the hospital super early that day, they did all kinds of vital checks that morning and my little sweetie just smiled and smiled through most of it. 


She is blissfully unaware of what is going on.  I asked - they would not give me drugs to make ME blissfully unaware!

 Soon all the vitals were taken, all the questions answered, and all the consent forms signed.  There was more praying and more crying, and then the moment no doctor or nurse can prepare you for, the moment of handing your precious baby over to the nurse for her surgery.  This was the HARDEST, MOST DIFFICULT thing I have ever done.  That moment when I had to hand over my Jenna to that nurse, really more that moment when that nurse pulled my sweet baby away from my tight secure mommy grip, oh my, I cannot describe enough the pain. I wasn't standing on my own, Eric was holding me up.  And our wonderful family behind us, supporting him and me, not a dry eye in the crowd, pushed us toward the elevator.  And then we waited...

The Things We do for our Kids

Well, it happened.  One of our scenarios and predictions from our hospital stay in December panned out, and Mommy got the brunt of this one.  You can refresh your memory here, specifically in the "BAD" section.  Turns out I do, I guess DID, carry strep and so I won the prize! Yay for me!!  Insert happy dance here! 

A tonsillectomy was the prize and I received it on Thursday. Dr. Hannah Vargas at Midwest ENT did the honors. I do have to give a shout out to the supporting roles in this win.  My mom, Eric and his mom have gotten to do most of the glorious duty of taking care of me, the house and making sure I am not overdoing it.  I am not supposed to lift or drive for two weeks.  As a result of not being able to lift my tiny 23 pound daughter, she has perfected asking her grandmothers to pick her up by saying a sweet little "up" with her arms lifted high as they go.  And of course, how can they say no?  (By the way Ann, our apologies now, but the little terror is getting held A LOT!) . 

They say, yes there is the infamous they. Who are these "They" people anyway?  THEY say that this is worse for adults than children, way worse.  It could quite possibly be the worst thing ever.  Well, here's what I have to say about that.

1.  Childbirth is worse. The kind where your epidural never really takes and they let it wear off, what little was working, and the kid is twisted and you push for 3 hours, that kind is worse.  The kind where they wisk you to the OR in the middle of the night and you don't have to work for it, well, that kind of childbirth is easier than this.  (No offense c-section mama's, I've had both).

2.  What is up with this pain medication?  Seriously, it has the most rancid flavor every created.  That's a great idea.  Let give something that is hard to swallow to someone who has a horrible time swallowing!  But wait, let's make it so disgusting that they want to vomit and cough, when they have strictly been told NO COUGHING and vomiting would be extremely painful!

3.  Still on the medicine....let's make it constipate a person who is not supposed to exert any energy for any reason!   What a great idea!!!

4.  Ice cream, Sonic slushes, Popsicles and sherbet....a 5 year old's dream diet, NOT mine!

5.  Someone should have told me that it would feel like there is a Kleenex stuck to the back of my throat. 

6. Yes, mashed potatoes get stuck back there when I swallow them.  Yes, I am making them the consistency of water.

7.  Sonic slushes are SWEET!!  Like super sugary syrupy sweet.  Like make me want to gag now kind of sweet.  My tip for future winners of this delightful surgery....get a plain slush.  It is much nicer and more tolerable.  Also, get Sonic ice.  It is great and rivals hospital ice. You can buy it by the bag or 35 cents for 2 large cups of it. 

8.  My hands are FREEZING from holding the bowls and cups of ice cream, sherbet, ice, jello and pudding.  One should have a cozy pair of gloves handy. 

9.  It hurts to talk.  This coming from the queen of gab, I do not like to talk right now. It hurts even more to talk loudly to my children who are crazy insane right now. 

10.  This hurts LESS than the week we spent in the hospital not knowing what was wrong with Jenna.  The constipation, the freezing hands, the boring bland butter soft diet, the disgusting make me want to hurl medicine, the helpless feeling of not being able to care for my babies, the constant pain and ache in my throat, neck and/or ears, none of it is as bad as not knowing what is going on in your baby's head, or watching her hurt and go through procedures and tests and pokes and prods and worrying about her day and night.  That was worse, way worse, than this.   So I guess, if this event prevents another event like the one we had in December, well, I guess that I am the winner.

In other news, today is my darling husband's 39th birthday!!  Let the over the hill jokes begin ladies and gentleman, because Eric is nearly old!!!  We had glorious plans of a romantic candlelit dinner of ice cream and mashed potatoes, but due to last night's hail storm, the poor guy is not even home yet. 

Feel free to comment, as I like to read right now and have nothing else to do.  And a small disclaimer, I am highly drugged and so if things don't make perfect sense, use your best judgement and figure it out.  And Shonda, pick your shocked self up off the ground, yes, its me and I made another post, FINALLY!

In 250 Words or Less

Well, K-Love put out a challenge and I accepted.  They wanted stories in 250 words or less (Hahaha, that is not very many words and I am concise-ness challenged anyway, so it was UBER hard for me!) describing listener's love stories.   (K-Love is a Christian radio station for those of you wondering what I am talking about).  One love story will be chosen and Matthew West will write a song based on the love story, and he will play it live in the studio on the morning of Valentine's Day.  Now, we traditionally think of love stories as those romantic he proposed on a beach at sunset with the waves lapping at our feet after a romantic candle lit dinner of caviar and cheese on a blanket in warm sunny Florida....blah blah blah.  They said, however, to think outside the box of other love stories, maybe our parents, grandparents, or love between a mother and son or father and daughter and ...you get the point here. Well, I thought of my kids and my blog and how they show me day after day what love is in many many ways.  So, in 250 words exactly, with a couple of contractions and after I figured out that "&" didn't count as a word....this is what I came up with as my greatest love story....

Before I was even pregnant with my daughter, my son spoke of her, so sure he would have a beloved sister someday.  During pregnancy, he would sing to her, rub my tummy & tell her stories.  He bought her Dolly with brown pigtails, while I was convinced her pigtails would be blonde.  She was born 6 weeks early, with a full head of BROWN hair.  Four years old, he charmed the nurses with his adoration of his sissy and they broke rules to let him in the nursery & hold her.  In the next few months he held her hand, laid down beside her, sang her songs & rubbed her back. He still tries to tend to her every need!  She has had a rough 1.5 years with major surgery last spring & a week in the hospital last December.  The desire of my sweet son's heart was to be with his sister in the hospital, so much so he would cry & say he wished he was sick or had surgery so he could be with her.   Her love is as deep.  After her surgery, her first movements were reaching for him.   If he isn't in the car with us, she stares at his booster singing  "Bubby, Bubby,!"  She wants to do what he does & be with him all the time.  They have their strife of course, but they always come away showing a perfect picture of love.  You can see it in his eyes, his first love is his sister.

 

That's my greatest love story. I sincerely doubt it will win and I will not cry when Matthew West does not write a song about my darling children, but it was very sweet to write it down.  They say pictures are worth a thousand words, so I obviously couldn't submit a picture:)  But, if I had been able to, here's what they would have been....



First Hug with assistance



and without assistance :)



 

One of my favorites!  He is holding her for the first time.  You can see Nurse Yvonne's hand behind Jenna's tiny, wobbly

head.





This one is my absolute favorites and if I could have picked a picture to signify my greatest love story, this would be the one!  He chose to take his nap by Jenna during her first week home.  They fell asleep just like that.

 

This video is lenthy, but it will be worth your time:) 



Like I said, my story probably won't be woven into a beautiful song by a famous Christian artist, but I think it is already a beautiful song, woven by Jesus. 









Precious Babies, Precious Times

Why hello blog land!  I have missed you as I went back to work, and well, life happens!!  I hope my "followers," friends, family and church family will come back to reading this after I have taken nearly a month off!  A sweet lady at church on Sunday said to me, "Oh, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your blog."  And at the same time, we both said something to the effect of "You/I haven't written anything for awhile!!"  So, here you are dear, an updated blog post! 

If you didn't know, my kids are so so so so so stinkin cute!!   I think I have the cutest and sweetest and sometimes orneriest kids in the world.  My friend Shonda also thinks she has the cutest kids and they are pretty cute, but.....  Anyway, she has a post about this gift of blind love for our kids, and I think she's right.  My kids make me laugh so hard, but yet sometimes cry so hard too. Actually, it seems every emotion that I have for these tiny people are hard core, giant emotions that take up my whole being.  I sit in awe as they grow and learn, as they interact with each other and friends, and as I watch them study a bug, a toy, the water, whatever, to figure out how it works.  I see Jenna's gifts and Cale's gifts and how different they are.  Jenna, so strong-willed, so tough and rough, but so sweet, kind and caring too.  Cale, with his quick wit and humor, has strong emotions and a giant heart that he wears on his sleeve.  And of course, he is wound around Jenna's tiny finger too!  Just to prove how precious my babies are, here are some precious things they have been doing and saying lately....

Cale, oh my, he is learning so much in school.  I am so proud of him. He has his first spelling test today.  We worked on his little words yesterday over and over again, even though he had them from the start.  Its a hard list: a, and, of, to, the.  Isn't that sweet?  He is playing with sounds and figuring out how to spell words.  One day last week, we were talking about how to spell zoo.  He said, "Mrs. Holtgraver (his teacher) spells zoo Z-O-O!  She adds two O's!  Isn't that funny?"  He says this as if Mrs. Holtgraver is not spelling correctly, and he is shocked and appalled that she would do something so incredibly silly as to add TWO O's to the word zoo.  After I was done laughing, inside of course, I explained to him Silly Crazy Mrs. Holtgraver was correct, zoo is z-o-o.  "Hmmmm...."  was about the only response to that. Fast forward to yesterday afternoon. He had to write a sentence for the giant word "a" and his sentence was "A horse cooperates with me."  Yes, he chose "cooperates" on his own.  So, he is saying all the sounds and writing them down. He came up with something like "koopras" for cooperates which I thought was pretty darn good for a kindergartener. Then he looks at it and says, "That's not right, there's 2 o's together like zoo!  That says koo!"  So smart I tell you!   

And his sister Jenna, she's smart too. She's learning some cause and effect!  Little Climber that she is, she climbed up on the bar stools yesterday and promptly toppled over with the big, tall chair landing on top of her.  (Sadly she has not learned that if she climbs on the chairs, then she will fall and get hurt).  She got a pretty good sized knot on her forehead, left of center so I didn't freak out, and she cried quite awhile, which she usually does not (see earlier comment about being tough and rough).  Later, we are in her room. I am the Clean Sweep host this time, going through all her blankets, towels, toys, and other baby paraphanalia. Being the hoarder collector pack rat sentimental one, it is hard for me to clear stuff out. Regardless, I cleared out 2 trash bags, a box and a couple of big baby toys she's outgrown.  (Yes, there is a point, it's coming right here...)  In all of this cleaning her helmet from post-surgery was on the floor.  Well, Jenna fell off another toy and hurt the BACK of her head. After she recovered from this injury, she got up and saw her helmet laying on the floor.  And it was like a light switched on in her head and ON went her helmet!  It was too small (I can remember when we got it thinking it was so so so so giant!), and she ran around with that thing on for quite awhile. Cale thought it a great idea to test it's strength and started knocking on her head.  REALLY BUB?  She's not a football player!

Miss Jenna, wearing her too small helmet and loving every minute of it!  (Sorry for the fuzzy picture, dang phone!)

Of course I have many more stories of these precious people, but I have bored entertained you long enough, so you'll have to wait for another day!