Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Epic Fail
Our sermon Sunday at church was on Epic Fail. You know, like when you fail, but not just in a normal maybe no one will notice kind of way, but an epic huge-o gigantic kind of way. Our pastor was really talking more about when you are urged or convicted to act by the Holy Spirit, but you rationalize your way out of it. And by the time you realize your rationale is stupid (my rendition of the sermon!), you've missed your window to do a really cool God thing and the blessing that would've gone with it. Or you just feel like a big bag of doo doo when you don't do what you thought you were supposed to be doing. Anyway, I had my own kind of Epic Fail on Sunday....
So, he's preaching on the Epic Fail, and we are reading in Luke 22, and I didn't bring my Bible to church because (are you ready for this excuse) it's just a lot to wrestle my kids, bags, purse and big ol' Bible....see, enter stupid rationale! My fix for this part of my fail is that I'll use the Bible app on my phone! How cool, just carrying it all the time. Well, Joey is preaching, and I am fiddling with my phone, trying to search/pull up the right scripture, and I'm feeling really guilty for playing on my phone, even though I'm looking up scripture! I finally find it, and I'm scrolling down to find the right verse, and it pops up, audio program loading. OH NO! OK, my phone's on silent, so surely it won't make any noise, but I back out of the Bible anyway, just to be sure. BUT all of a sudden MY PHONE STARTS TALKING!!! It's this really monotonous man voice, and he's reading Luke 22. And I CAN'T make him stop!!! I tried to hide my phone, cramming it between my knees and trying to make is stop! I had the Bible program off, it was on silent, I didn't know what to do! I finally turned my phone off, but the man kept talking until it actually shut down, which felt like approximately 32 minutes, but was probably more like 32 seconds or less. Meanwhile, I am cracking up, my mother is cracking up and the Lafferty family in front of me is cracking up. Silently of course!!! At this point, I'm watching Joey, wanting to make sure he's not heard any of this nonsense, and he is just a preachin away as if I have not disrupted anything. GREAT NEWS!! Carry on friends!!!
Carry on, until Kendra thinks she's clever and asks the family that sits in front of them if they heard something talking during church. And of course she did. And then Joey chimes in that he heard it too...WHILE PREACHING!!! And a girl who was sitting in the opposite corner, yeah, she heard it too!! And her husband who was at the back door, HE heard it too!!! Joey even said that everyone on the other side of the church was looking our way. Know what all that means?!?!?!
So, he's preaching on the Epic Fail, and we are reading in Luke 22, and I didn't bring my Bible to church because (are you ready for this excuse) it's just a lot to wrestle my kids, bags, purse and big ol' Bible....see, enter stupid rationale! My fix for this part of my fail is that I'll use the Bible app on my phone! How cool, just carrying it all the time. Well, Joey is preaching, and I am fiddling with my phone, trying to search/pull up the right scripture, and I'm feeling really guilty for playing on my phone, even though I'm looking up scripture! I finally find it, and I'm scrolling down to find the right verse, and it pops up, audio program loading. OH NO! OK, my phone's on silent, so surely it won't make any noise, but I back out of the Bible anyway, just to be sure. BUT all of a sudden MY PHONE STARTS TALKING!!! It's this really monotonous man voice, and he's reading Luke 22. And I CAN'T make him stop!!! I tried to hide my phone, cramming it between my knees and trying to make is stop! I had the Bible program off, it was on silent, I didn't know what to do! I finally turned my phone off, but the man kept talking until it actually shut down, which felt like approximately 32 minutes, but was probably more like 32 seconds or less. Meanwhile, I am cracking up, my mother is cracking up and the Lafferty family in front of me is cracking up. Silently of course!!! At this point, I'm watching Joey, wanting to make sure he's not heard any of this nonsense, and he is just a preachin away as if I have not disrupted anything. GREAT NEWS!! Carry on friends!!!
Carry on, until Kendra thinks she's clever and asks the family that sits in front of them if they heard something talking during church. And of course she did. And then Joey chimes in that he heard it too...WHILE PREACHING!!! And a girl who was sitting in the opposite corner, yeah, she heard it too!! And her husband who was at the back door, HE heard it too!!! Joey even said that everyone on the other side of the church was looking our way. Know what all that means?!?!?!
EPIC FAIL!!!!
The moral of the story....
When you don't take your Bible to church, it's like going to the pool without your swimming suit.
When you choose to use your Bible app at church, it's like if your swimsuit fell off at the pool!
And a serious side note, I sincerely apologize if my crazy app distracted you at a serious moment for you. I hope you were able to get back into the sermon!
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